The Contenders for the 2021 Trophy

Rocky
Read MoreCurrently attending anger management therapy for slow play. Is a world authority on lamb shank preparation. Has a tattoo on his arse that says “If you’re reading this, we’re in prison”.

Magoogle
Read MoreThe Dogdish native voted most likely to marry his cousin by his Jeppe classmates. Was an exotic dancer at the Blue Oyster Bar before joining the navy. Secretly harbours a desire to become a bus conductor.

Chewbacca
Read MoreWanted to become a ventriloquist but the puppet couldn’t get a word in. He is able to hold several conversations simultaneously. In fact most conversations on tour involve him.

Groucho
Read MoreConsidered by many to be vocally and morally unrestrained. Endorsed by Weed Aficionado and the Plettenberg Overly-aggressive and Excitable Support Society (POESS)

Kojak
Read MoreA past champion from a bygone era when Old Tom Morris was a junior and Rabbi’s clubs were new. Swing Analysis: Simple and clean followed by a few choice words in Italian not so simple and clean

Dutch
Read MoreAlways performs a quick cash flow projection before teeing up in front of water. Prefers all his clothing in orange except his overalls. He considers SPR (shanks per round) as the most useful metric to measure his performance.

Full Tilt
Read MorePaints himself as an Old Master – Only one of those attributes apply on the course.
Always the last to know when it starts raining.
Swing Analysis: He makes Fred Astaire look like a statue.

Cabronski
Read MoreIntroduces himself and starts each sentence with “Are you a champion?”. The first non gringo to lift the trophy. Swing Analysis: Reminiscent of someone fighting a swarm of bees

Rabbi
Read MoreConsiders himself a leading collector of vintage golf shirts. Always bemoans not being straight on tour. Nightmare Scenario: Any dogleg left. Swing Analysis: “Slight” left to right…once he eventually makes contact with the ball.

Rocketman
Read MoreHe disappears faster after 9pm than his grey hairs on a trip to Denmark. The only thing he can beat with his eyes closed is insomnia. Swing Analysis: Like the Democrats – Misguided and too far left

Oz
Read MoreA sheep in wolf’s clothing. Wears camouflage shorts – we’ve never seen them. Sometimes unfairly referred to as “gums” having relinquished his Fines master role. Swing Analysis: What he lacks in confidence off the tee, he also lacks in swing speed.

Oom Trigger
Read MoreFully Bilingual – Speaks fluent English and Fox News. What keeps him awake at night?: The thought of being sat next to Chewbacca and MaGoogle and wanting to say something. Recently applied to have his name changed to Donald de Beer

Van der chippen Putten
Read MoreHis hotel mini bars allow you into the future to see what a coke will cost in 2040. Flatly disputes Uwe Blacks’s claim that the best thing to come out of Holland is the train to Germany.

Uwe Black
Read MoreRecently wrote an article titled “Gender Identification in the modern era”. Lists his Domicilium Citandi as Pat Pong Street. Swing Analysis: Currently the subject of a dissertation titled “Unusual Biomechanical and Neuropsychological Mechanisms of Movement”

Big Mac
Read MoreRecently featured in an article on 007.com called “Bond on a budget”. A close second to Rocketman in the insomnia stakes.

Vijayjay
Read MoreEarlier this year he gave up his day job to spend more time on the range. Has learnt the hard way not to seek medical advice from Full Tilt. Swing Analysis: Gender neutral – Sometimes left, sometimes right. Not necessarily straight.

Spud
Read MoreCFO and poultry evangelist for Woodchuck Chicken.Similar to a greek but not as hard working. Good for a top twenty four finish.

Gollum
Read MoreThe Tommy Hillfiger of Fatcat. VDCP calls him Poepchic. His personal challenge – a needs analysis of Rabbi’s wardrobe

Fargo (Pikanin)
Read MoreFargo by day, Pikanin by night. Also known as the smiling assasin. Now looking for an assistant given his expected workload on tour.

Magic Mike
Read MoreNow called Mediocre Mike given his current form. Was once a Springbok tequila shootist. Swing Analysis: Runs a process and system automation conglomerate but has a different swing every day.

Crappy
Read MoreHas this year managed to reduce his swing elements and thoughts to under 25. Nightmare scenario: Trying to focus with Chewbacca, Oom Tromp and Magoogle discussing US politics

Hipster
Read MoreHis body turn always carries the risk of a hook, never mind a hernia. Only his golf is mainstream.

Canthitabal
Read MoreHis goal is to one day shoot his age – will be lucky to shoot his weight. Career highlights include Saturday afternoon C-division winner in 2007. Swing Analysis: Like an octopus falling out of a tree.

Herb
Read MoreMost recently had to file an insurance claim in one of his restaurants after he helped out in the kitchen. Contributes a considerable amount of revenue at Rocky’s range. Snores in his sleep … according to Oz ???

Wiiings
Read MoreHis staff see more of Halleys comet than they do him. Recently joined Alcoholics Anonymous – still drinks but uses a false name. Has been cautioned more than once for claiming other peoples pets.

Alibabalas
Read MoreHe recently said – “If I had 50c for every scorecard I’d miscounted I’d have R10.80 now”

Brexit
Read MoreHe is widely thought of amongst the primate population to be the original source of Ebola.

Woggy
Read MoreHe of questionable heritage – part Italian and part Australian when it suits him (which, judging by the recent Wallabies form is not often). Developed his unique fashion sense and style directly from John Daly
Who We Are
The Facts
Completed Tours
12
Players
128+
World Champions
11
Hours of work done
0
Lost Balls
1220
Penalties
2348
Drinks Consumed
16442
News
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