The Dennis Thatcher of Dainfern. Travels with his own Physio. Nightmare Scenario: Being restricted to no more than 10 beers per night. Has as much chance of winning tour as Cabronski revoking his Mexican citizenship.

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His pre shot routine includes preparing for disappointment. His mantra on the course is never surrender – he normally wins hands down. He recently said “If I had 50c for every scorecard I’d miscounted I’d have R10.80 now”. 

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Last year he had a great joke about inflation but it’s hardly worth a laugh now. Considers himself to be the Crypto King of Melkbosstrand.

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Often likened to a squirrel on tik. He makes Full Tilt look like a wallflower. Nightmare scenario: Taking chipping advice from Chewie and Fargo

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His body turn always carries the risk of a hook, never mind a hernia.  Has been known to nod off on his downswing. Has about as much chance of winning tour as setting a new 400m hurdles record

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Was given the name “Stretch” after a sudden growth spurt. Thinks that a bump and run only happens in a car park. Has as much chance of winning as warning Full Tilt that its raining

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His version of work is travelling first class to swanky hotels and attending lavish conferences and occassionally throwing his weight around. Lives in the futile hope that Holland will win something.

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