- No success with condoms, should have used Twin Savers. Once was stalked by Angelina Jolie although due to lack of evidence all charges were dropped. Career took a downward turn when his pecker did the same. Auditioning for the village people was also a poor career choice.
- Has just finished the Cialis sponsored shoot for Southern Sun – “36 hours of freedom in the kingdom of pleasure”
- No chance of winning tour because: he isn’t entered; if he was, his nails would have to dry after his pedicure in time to make the tee off
- Favorite expression: How about a little nibble baby?
- Worst Nightmare: Fashion Cafe closing down
